THE DAMAGE IS DONE FOR ME

Uncertainty about where I stand in my local community and surrounding areas.

Today’s turnout at the “No Kings” protests across the nation and around the world is something to be immensely proud of. I posted a few photos and videos to my personal socials of the one I attended. My local community and people I thought were my friends saw them, and I believe they collectively think I am ridiculous. That’s when I realized, the damage is done for me. Democracy can prevail, Donald could be thrown into prison along with his oligarchs and treasonous regime, but I’ve already been exposed to the poison that lives in the communities around me in this red state.

I am so outnumbered here. Everyone either supports this Administration, or they don’t get involved in “politics”. I put that in quotes because this has gone above and beyond politics; My readers already know that. I mean, these people don’t even share the news! Israel and Iran, Russia and Ukraine, citizens being kidnapped, laws being ignored, Democrats being murdered, etc., NOTHING, EVER. Like, you can’t be bothered spread awareness about literal danger????? I can’t understand, but I know that there was a time where I used to be them. I used to tell people, “Oh, I’m not in to politics,” as if it were a hobby. However, when Donald entered the picture, that all changed for me.

I remember feeling so confused that people wanted to vote for a Reality TV Star as President of the United States. I questioned them, “That guy from The Apprentice (which I’d never watched)? You want to vote for an actor?” Their argument was, “Well, people voted for Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor of California, and he’s doing alright.” Even for a person disinterested in politics, or perhaps avoiding politics, something about that comparison wasn’t justifiable to me. I became informed. I became a voter. I slowly began to see the full picture. The corruption. The high stakes. How much democracy, fairness, justice, transparency, and integrity matter in America.

Anyway, I suppose I’m writing this just to say that this man, ole Donald, has completely changed my views on my community and everyone around me. My views have been permanently tainted by their compliance and complicity. I’m deeply disappointed in so many people on a wide scale. Here we are, 6 months in to horror and terror, and these people still aren’t using their voices. They appear to not care, and maybe it’s not just appearance. Instead they post gym workouts, drinks with the girlies, beers with the bros, or what they had for dinner that night. Are you kidding? Sometimes I wonder why I’m one of the only ones to have the mind that I do around here.

On the outside, I fit in. It is easy to have conversations with strangers. But on the inside, I feel so fucking out of place. I constantly find myself wondering, “Are you one of them?” Analyzing bumper stickers, hats, and T-shirts as I pass by has become a compulsive thing. I think I do it as a way to assess my personal safety? Or maybe it just bothers me that people can support things that are horrible and wrong. Either way, I’m getting tired of keeping my head down. I’m sick of being the one feeling uncomfortable, when they’re the ones filled with so much hate.